* Solstace blows vuvuzudak
<TParadox> Ew, get a room.
<Vuvuzudak> BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

<WhereWe> Nothing happens.
<sgrunt> > xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You fall through a trap door! You land in a large underground cave, lit only by oil lamps. A faded piece of parchment reads "moderator to-do list".
<sgrunt> > read parchment
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Beneath the header are three items labeled "fix bugs", "ban people", and "restore the majesty of the Empire". The first two items are struck through.
<sgrunt> > i
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Your inventory contains one copy of The Pocket Guide to the TV Tropes Historical Caverns, and a flashlight.
<sgrunt> > read guide
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There are a couple of pages of currently irrelevant information, as well as the notation "beware the cookie monster".
<sgrunt> > what is a cookie monster
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Perhaps you should ask Elmo instead.
<sgrunt> > exits
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There is one exit, to what we'll pretend is the south because you don't have a compass with which to confirm this anyway.
<sgrunt> > s
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You walk through the passageway, but bump into a young-looking British fellow on your way out. His name tag reads "Bobby". He is carrying an unlabeled book.
<sgrunt> > bobby, hello
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hello. Do I know you?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, where am I?
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "You are in the modcave. We used to have a bunker, but someone took the name a little too seriously during the last remodeling. Who are you, if you don't mind my asking?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, sgrunt.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hm... I suppose you're a new moderator, then.  Welcome. Here's your key." He hands you a small card with a magnetic stripe on one side.
<sgrunt> > examine key
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Aside from the magnetic stripe, the surface is entirely blank and white.
<sgrunt> > bobby, I don't think I am a moderator.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Nonsense! How could you be in the modcave otherwise? Everyone with access here is a moderator."
<sgrunt> > bobby, xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You are sucked back through the trap door that you fell through! You land on the ceiling of a small office.  Somehow.
<sgrunt> > remove ceiling tile
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You remove one of the ceiling tiles. There is some fiberglass insulation on the other side, which falls onto the floor "above" your head.
<sgrunt> > plugh
<IllFlower> sgrunt: TV Tropes crashes! Your simulated reality goes down with it and your mind is lost in the Matrix forever. *** YOU HAVE GONE BRAINDEAD ***
<sgrunt> > quit
<IllFlower> sgrunt: [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ ls
<IllFlower> sgrunt: bin/, public_html/, stuff/ ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ sudo rm -rf /
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Password:
<sgrunt> swordfish
<IllFlower> sgrunt: sgrunt is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported. ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ shutdown -h now
*** sgrunt was kicked from #yackfest by IllFlower [Broadcast message from sgrunt@localhost: ** The system is going down NOW **]

<Foombazzle> Oh yeah. I need to leave the flat and go downstairs to grab another bag to refill my bucket too.
* Foombazzle wonders if theres an online service for it
<Foombazzle> Like I should be able to get an internet-connected bucket that will initiate a delivery automatically
<Charlatan> Would you like your bucket delivered by UAV
<Foombazzle> I think it would need to be. We're talking 10kg of rice, so the average drone wouldn't cut the mustard.
<zeroplusalpha> 10kg???
<Foombazzle> yeah, I grab a sackful at a time, which is why Im always so surprised when I run out. My calculations are always based on the approximation of "ok. This should last till I reach retirement age"
<Charlatan> I'm now imagining a very unusual game of Call of Duty.
<Charlatan> "CARE PACKAGE IS INBOUND! *giant crate of rice flattens Foombazzle*"
<Foombazzle> from the T&C: Customer's in high-rise apartmenrts are reminded to leave their windows open for half an hour either side of the scheduled delivery time. Precision delivery is automated and will occur regardless of window status.
<Foombazzle> Do not stand near windows during this time.
<Foombazzle> Any spillage after package deployment is responsibility of customer.

<Noimporta> German: The language in which everything sounds like a machine gun's name.

<AlbertAndreasArmadillo> Oh, he considers psychiatrists to be as bad as the Khmer Rouge. I wonder if he's a holocaust denial too
<Legionnaire> Who?
<Nova> He's a denial!
<Nova> My god.
<ponicalica> a denial
<ponicalica> a denial
<ponicalica> a denial
<ponicalica> </SmellsLikeTeenSpirit>

<Jinxed> if you want a hug I can give ya one
<Jinxed> but korgy's special cause he's a teddy bear
<Noimporta> Being Australian, wouldn't he be more of a Koala?
<Korgmeister> Koalas are like psycho teddy bears.
<Korgmeister> Oh wait, that kinda works.
<Jinxed> well I have a theory he's a mutant Corgi who's grown gigantic
<Jinxed> he just happens to be kinna grumpy

<CyberCharlatan> I CAN SEE FOREVER AND IT'S FULL OF LESBIANS

<zeroplusalpha> True Story: A friend of mine who became a hippie, had some the Chinese word for prosperity on his door.  Except it was upside down...which is actually a thing, as "upside down" is a homophone for "arrive".  So I asked him where he learned about hanging auspcisious words upside down, to which he replied "It's upside down?" >_<

<Zizoz> @seen zizoz
<Omnipresence> Zizoz: I hope you know the answer to that question already!

<feep> that should really have been on gfycat
<feep> http://gfycat.com/LongBeneficialCock
<feep> I DID NOT PICK THAT NAME