Room 208

Quote database

#103

Rated 67 by 13 users
<IllFlower> JBridge just knows these things. Don't ask why, because it's more information than you'll ever need. Or want, really.
<JBridge> IllFlower: "A fountain of useless and mostly disgusting information."
<JBridge> That's how my best friend describes my mind.
<IllFlower> It's better than how my mind is usually described, which I won't reproduce in full here because it generally entails graduate-level thesis papers in exacting detail on how badly I've gone unhinged over my few years of existence.

#598

Rated 44 by 6 users
<Tzetzuooooo> It's true.  It's so annoying just having your dick spill everywhere.

#453

Rated 41 by 8 users
<WhereWe> Nothing happens.
<sgrunt> > xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You fall through a trap door! You land in a large underground cave, lit only by oil lamps. A faded piece of parchment reads "moderator to-do list".
<sgrunt> > read parchment
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Beneath the header are three items labeled "fix bugs", "ban people", and "restore the majesty of the Empire". The first two items are struck through.
<sgrunt> > i
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Your inventory contains one copy of The Pocket Guide to the TV Tropes Historical Caverns, and a flashlight.
<sgrunt> > read guide
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There are a couple of pages of currently irrelevant information, as well as the notation "beware the cookie monster".
<sgrunt> > what is a cookie monster
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Perhaps you should ask Elmo instead.
<sgrunt> > exits
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There is one exit, to what we'll pretend is the south because you don't have a compass with which to confirm this anyway.
<sgrunt> > s
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You walk through the passageway, but bump into a young-looking British fellow on your way out. His name tag reads "Bobby". He is carrying an unlabeled book.
<sgrunt> > bobby, hello
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hello. Do I know you?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, where am I?
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "You are in the modcave. We used to have a bunker, but someone took the name a little too seriously during the last remodeling. Who are you, if you don't mind my asking?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, sgrunt.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hm... I suppose you're a new moderator, then.  Welcome. Here's your key." He hands you a small card with a magnetic stripe on one side.
<sgrunt> > examine key
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Aside from the magnetic stripe, the surface is entirely blank and white.
<sgrunt> > bobby, I don't think I am a moderator.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Nonsense! How could you be in the modcave otherwise? Everyone with access here is a moderator."
<sgrunt> > bobby, xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You are sucked back through the trap door that you fell through! You land on the ceiling of a small office.  Somehow.
<sgrunt> > remove ceiling tile
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You remove one of the ceiling tiles. There is some fiberglass insulation on the other side, which falls onto the floor "above" your head.
<sgrunt> > plugh
<IllFlower> sgrunt: TV Tropes crashes! Your simulated reality goes down with it and your mind is lost in the Matrix forever. *** YOU HAVE GONE BRAINDEAD ***
<sgrunt> > quit
<IllFlower> sgrunt: [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ ls
<IllFlower> sgrunt: bin/, public_html/, stuff/ ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ sudo rm -rf /
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Password:
<sgrunt> swordfish
<IllFlower> sgrunt: sgrunt is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported. ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ shutdown -h now
*** sgrunt was kicked from #yackfest by IllFlower [Broadcast message from sgrunt@localhost: ** The system is going down NOW **]

#797

Rated 51 by 4 users
<RocketDude> Oh, so this is like that thing where the guy takes super-steroids and becomes super-powerful, and the way to stop him involves lots of death, and I reckon the edible fuckpillow factors in somewhere, most likely after the robot uprising. Gotcha.

#873

Rated 51 by 4 users
<Nitya> "Also on a happy note my mental breakdown hasn't stopped me from going to ecuador completely" why do I look at facebook, it's just a reminder of how little I know about people
<Barcode> People is a subject that necessitates studying to understand. are? how the fuckd o you structure this sentence
<Barcode> my first guess was are
<Barcode> sounds better with are but \_o_/

#1088

Rated 62 by 11 users
<jseblan> imagines using an Xbox's case to build a PC
<Teemo> So you can RROD while you BSOD?

#112

Rated 61 by 6 users
<JBridge> BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MY BIG-ASS HARD DRIVES.
<ponicalica> Your big ass-hard drives?

#1244

Rated 70 by 15 users
<ponicalica> see, in real life codenames come from porn films, not computers
<Juan> call me
<Juan> big wet asses 20
<Juan> lmao i just had a terrible thought
<Juan> Barcode[out] probably hates porn because it's full of sequels
<Barcode[out]> Snort
<Barcode[out]> Neither confirm nor deny
<Barcode[out]> Broke from the mainstream long ago, looking for the most independent and unique pornography on the planet 
<Barcode[out]> Bootlegged Iranian pornaganda
<Barcode[out]> Sex tapes set to the space roar
<Barcode[out]> I have found my home in Outer Porno

#401

Rated 62 by 11 users
<TParadox> So tonight, the moon turned to blood and the stars fell from the sky. It can only mean one thing.
<TParadox> Net Neutrality is dead.
<[DOA]> Cthulhu ftaghn, ïa ïa Comcast

#121

Rated 57 by 5 users
<Nakiami> Why would anyone want to download yugioh games?
<Arha> Nakiami: To atone for terrible sins