<RocketDude> How often is Omni updated, anyways?
<Cultist> Lately IllFlower's been putting it off due to being busy or being lazy or secretely a pile of pancakes or something
<RocketDude> Secret pancake man! Secret pancake man! Giving you a napkin, and taking away your name!

<Lin_Chong> Back from my older brother's surprise twenty-fourth.
<Barcode> "he just got older on us unexpectedly"
<Lin_Chong> It was pretty fun. Got to drink white wine and pear cider.
<Lin_Chong> When he was stunned in surprise, we got his girlfriend to take his wallet and phone out, as well as removed his shoes.
<Lin_Chong> And then we threw him in the pool.
<Lin_Chong> I called it a "baptism".
<Barcode> more fun than most baptisms
<Juan> baptisms ain't shit
<Juan> baptisms by fire on the other hand
<Barcode> yeah as a kid they just kind of dipped me in napalm
<jseblan> that explains so much

<Haruka> screw periods
<Haruka> although how i'd screw them would be hard
<Haruka> since periods are one dimensional
<Haruka> and i lack a penis

<StarGirl00>
    Stranger: hi asl
    You: (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there
    Stranger: haha fag!
    Stranger: the world hates people like you
    You: For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.
    Stranger: die
    You: It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
   [Your conversational partner has disconnected.]

<Beorc> Electivirus, do you have any advice on how to beat Seymour Flux in Final Fantasy X?
<Zakdos> kill him
<Zakdos> that should do it
<Beorc> He kills me first.
<Zakdos> kill him first, then

<Alicia> Charlie has issues, okay. The only cures are Byakuren, violence, and drugs.
<Alicia> So he's basically a typical yackfester.

<Alicia> Fabulous moaning right here.

<[DOA]> It's not like everybody has only one incarnation at any time. I mean, you're never going to meet several billion people, there's plenty of leeway
<JackerelMack> I'm an elf.
<JackerelMack> WHo was a vampire.
<JackerelMack> Then got turned into a dragon.
<JackerelMack> Who totally was in Bleach.
<JackerelMack> No one understands me.
<[DOA]> Don't mock my spirituality man :(

<Crake> Eh, I told a little old lady that if she asked for more cream cheese on her bagel she would look like a bukkake starlet after her first bite.

<ivoryRum> > rape gloves
<feepbot> ivoryRum: It looks like someone got here before you judging by the fluid. You don't really want sloppy seconds. You have more class than that.