<Nitya> the adventures of one erect metallic penis in syria

<jseblan> .decide |make coffee|Coffee is the only choice, the essence of life. Make coffee or perish
<feepbot> jseblan: Eh?

<@GMH> oh wait
<@GMH> holy shit
<@GMH> BDSM is actually useful

<Nitya> writing fortran while not owning a slide rule is a syntax error

<Saladofstones> all I can think of is a belgian expression for when something is useless
<Saladofstones> "its as useless as the pecker on the pope"
<Juardboiled> "belgian"
<Juardboiled> oh
<Saladofstones> what
<Saladofstones> you gonna knock my people
<Juardboiled> yes wha chu gunna do bub
<Saladofstones> I'll love you so tenderly man
* Juardboiled rips off shirt to reveal another shit saying no sorry i'm taken
<Rig> Juan is just covered in layers of shit.
<Barcode> dude, is that a fucking biological ability
<Barcode> growing shirts
<Rig> My biological ability is not giving shits.
<Rig> I'm a mutant.
<Rig> Mister No Shits Given
<Juardboiled> that explains so much about rig

<Fiora> is there such a thing as over-parmesaning anything?
<Fiora> that sounds impossible, like over-sushiing. or over-chocolating.
<IllFlower> "Sir, we accidentally put too much parmesan into the nuclear reactor."
<IllFlower> "How much did you put in there?"
<IllFlower> "About ten grams."
<IllFlower> "How much were you supposed to put in there?"
<IllFlower> "Uh... none, sir."
<IllFlower> "So what's going to happen?"
<IllFlower> "Well, the ship's going to have some exhaust problems for the next couple of hours..."
<IllFlower> "Goddammit, I *knew* I shouldn't have bought the lactose-intolerant engine."

[Saladofstones is playing ArmA]
<Saladofstones> well
<Saladofstones> this was something
<Saladofstones> here we are in a tank, not any tank
<Saladofstones> but a variant of tank specifically designed to fight other tanks, so we have three layers of armor
<Saladofstones> one taliban with a grenade launcher gets a lucky hit, our ammo cooks off and we all die
<Saladofstones> thats 500 million dollars well spent, Pentagon
<Saladofstones> Someone got their 72 virgins instantly today
<Haruspex> oneshotting a tank is worth at least a few virgins imo
<Saladofstones> whats worse is that an APC survived a direct hit from my HEAT
<Saladofstones> what happened is that our hyper velocity rounds are too fast
<Saladofstones> so it went in one side of its thin armor and out the other and took out a tree
<Haruspex> gotta go slow... and... armor piercingly
<Saladofstones> I think this tank is either cursed or the spirit of technoallah was with the taliban today
<Haruspex> also i thought the point of HEAT rounds was that they exploded while inside or something
<Saladofstones> yup
<Haruspex> you had one job heat round
<Saladofstones> but the problem being it needs a specific set of circumstances to explode
<Haruspex> but nooooo, gotta blow up a tree
<Saladofstones> apparantely armor made of cardboard doesn't count
<Haruspex> yeah, they expect thicker armor than a shitty apc has, right?

<ponicalica> are you going to look up Vocaloid lesbian incest rape?
<IllFlower> You know, I just realized that I read over that sentence without batting an eye. I keep having these moments of self-realization where I go "what is /wrong/ with me?"
<IllFlower> Then I blissfully ignore this self-realization and go on with my life.

<Haruspex> I don't know how to express emotions. Is "filled with satan" an emotion?

<Iverum> Bluh, I have a calcium deficiency.
<Barcode> drink more milk then
<divert_time> or kill Barcode and eat his bones
<Barcode> i'll have you know that I have all sorts of methods of neutralizing calcium-deficient threats
<AliceTensei> Kill Barcode and eat his bones mixed with milk. Made from bones.
<KanyarMaryam> .decide read more about meditation | sew | write gay porn
<feepbot> KanyarMaryam: write gay porn
<Nitya> eat gay porn made from barcode's bones.
<divert_time> write gay porn involving Barcode's bones
<KanyarMaryam> So I'm going to write the porn on his bones...?
<KanyarMaryam> And it will involve them?