<Saturn> I'm not a masochist!
<Saturn> I hate pain
<Nitya> Exactly.  And masochists love things they hate.
<Saturn> ...
<Iverum> @ship JackMack/Tzetze

<Wicked224> You know, it's kind of weird, thinking about 2 Girls 1 Cup as a cultural milestone.

<IllFlower> you know, in fifteen years I'm going to be hearing about how one of the UC campuses has set up a pornography studies department with a certain Joel Button as its chairman
<IllFlower> I'll look at the papers out of morbid curiosity and go, "that's the first time I've ever seen the word 'autofellatio' in a citation"

<ShoujiAn> What do I get as a representative of the Tzetzen empire?
<JackMackerel> A jackknife.
<Johann> ShoujiAn: sex
<Charlatan> ShoujiAn: A free anthology edition of the Illuminatus Trilogy.
<ShoujiAn> Hmm. All this sounds good...
* JackMackerel gives ShoujiAn a nasty looking knife
<Johann> well, i refuse to give you sex
<ShoujiAn> If I stab someone with it will they get a nasty disease?
<ShoujiAn> Ok
<Haruspex> You also get an anus dentata for dealing with Jackerel. Use it wisely.
<ShoujiAn> Cool!
<Charlatan> ...Anus dentata. Fascinating.
<JackMackerel> Strapons.
<JackMackerel> It STILL hurts :<
<Haruspex> I don't think that "anus" is actually Latin (?), but Tzetzeans speak Byzantine Greek anyway.

<taelor> Awhile back I saw a tumblr post describing the poster's indecision about whether or not he should continue a tumblr argument with a juggalo, and it made me think: what kind of life choices do you have to make where "should I get into a flamewar with a juggalo today?" is a reasonable question that you have to stop and think about.

<Zizoz> @seen zizoz
<Omnipresence> Zizoz: I hope you know the answer to that question already!

<Iverum> Buttercupistiny: Thank you for being a sane and reasonable Catholic woman.
<Buttercupistiny> You're very welcome.
<Buttercupistiny> Though I might challenge you on calling me sane.
<IllFlower> Just let him call you sane and be done with it, Buttercupistiny. You can tear off his head and eat his entrails later.
<Buttercupistiny> :D he will make a yummy feast
<Iverum> I'm actually very bony.

<Saturn> Nitya can't give Solstace the things I give him!
<ivoryRum> Disappointment?

<DograMagra> Actually I looked through the "tzetze" tag a few days ago and was like "wait where did thsese come from"
<IllFlower> You're half the reason we have user tags in the QDB, the other half is Mapi.

<WhereWe> Nothing happens.
<sgrunt> > xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You fall through a trap door! You land in a large underground cave, lit only by oil lamps. A faded piece of parchment reads "moderator to-do list".
<sgrunt> > read parchment
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Beneath the header are three items labeled "fix bugs", "ban people", and "restore the majesty of the Empire". The first two items are struck through.
<sgrunt> > i
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Your inventory contains one copy of The Pocket Guide to the TV Tropes Historical Caverns, and a flashlight.
<sgrunt> > read guide
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There are a couple of pages of currently irrelevant information, as well as the notation "beware the cookie monster".
<sgrunt> > what is a cookie monster
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Perhaps you should ask Elmo instead.
<sgrunt> > exits
<IllFlower> sgrunt: There is one exit, to what we'll pretend is the south because you don't have a compass with which to confirm this anyway.
<sgrunt> > s
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You walk through the passageway, but bump into a young-looking British fellow on your way out. His name tag reads "Bobby". He is carrying an unlabeled book.
<sgrunt> > bobby, hello
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hello. Do I know you?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, where am I?
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "You are in the modcave. We used to have a bunker, but someone took the name a little too seriously during the last remodeling. Who are you, if you don't mind my asking?"
<sgrunt> > bobby, sgrunt.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Hm... I suppose you're a new moderator, then.  Welcome. Here's your key." He hands you a small card with a magnetic stripe on one side.
<sgrunt> > examine key
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Aside from the magnetic stripe, the surface is entirely blank and white.
<sgrunt> > bobby, I don't think I am a moderator.
<IllFlower> sgrunt: "Nonsense! How could you be in the modcave otherwise? Everyone with access here is a moderator."
<sgrunt> > bobby, xyzzy
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You are sucked back through the trap door that you fell through! You land on the ceiling of a small office.  Somehow.
<sgrunt> > remove ceiling tile
<IllFlower> sgrunt: You remove one of the ceiling tiles. There is some fiberglass insulation on the other side, which falls onto the floor "above" your head.
<sgrunt> > plugh
<IllFlower> sgrunt: TV Tropes crashes! Your simulated reality goes down with it and your mind is lost in the Matrix forever. *** YOU HAVE GONE BRAINDEAD ***
<sgrunt> > quit
<IllFlower> sgrunt: [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ ls
<IllFlower> sgrunt: bin/, public_html/, stuff/ ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ sudo rm -rf /
<IllFlower> sgrunt: Password:
<sgrunt> swordfish
<IllFlower> sgrunt: sgrunt is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported. ... [sgrunt@localhost ~]$
<sgrunt> $ shutdown -h now
*** sgrunt was kicked from #yackfest by IllFlower [Broadcast message from sgrunt@localhost: ** The system is going down NOW **]