<Nitya> A p-zombie is a thing indistinguishable from a person except that they lack subjective experience.
<Rig> So basically a hipster.

<Rig> I want to see a lady covered in spiders.

<Kashchei> question: cute, sexy, or beautiful, and why?
<Solstace> Cute.  I find beautiful people to be like works of art, and who the fuck would bone a nice painting.  And I don't trust sexy people, too many personal experiences.
<Nitya> ...
<Nitya> Wtf
<JackMackerel> @Solstace - I want to bone a painting. :<
<Kashchei> i'd bone a nice painting...

<Tzetzuooooo> er, don't have what?
<blamedaaaaa> a penis, money, decisiveness, Netflix
<Tzetzuooooo> Surgery, theft, more surgery, money
<blamedaaaaa> I don't even want the first for myself, but the rest would be nice
<Tzetzuooooo> You totally want a penis, just not on you.  Don't be denyin' the penis mojo.
<blamedaaaaa> I mean, I would like one with a person attached for the sake of having a person, but not attached to me
<Tzetzuooooo> Ha, you actually went through with the awkwardness
<Tzetzuooooo> Good show!

<Nitya> see, it's important we establish gatekeepers, because what if somebody feels they should cut off their dick but is actually just joking
<Saladofstones> okay
<Nitya> lookin at you salad i know you're all about dicks
<Saladofstones> I would never give up my dick
<Barcode> "give me my dick or give me death"
<Nitya> d is revolutionary
<Saladofstones> "you may take our wives and our land, but you'll never take our diiiiiicks"
<Saladofstones> [spoiler]they took mel gibson's dick[/spoiler]
<Nitya> oh no

<Insidious> .decide wangs | vaginas
<feepbot> Insidious: vaginas
<RoseLalonde> Read that as: Insidious Vaginas.
<RoseLalonde> I tell ya man, they're trying to eat your dick.
<Insidious> I've known some insidious ones, yes
<RoseLalonde> Right off.
<AliceTensei> Vagina dentata?
<ponicalica> Virginia dentata.
<AliceTensei> Attack of the man-eating US States.
<RoseLalonde> When states go cannibalistic.
<Insidious> thats what west virginia has been protecting us against
<RoseLalonde> It's also the first victim.
<RoseLalonde> Rhode Island never stood a chance either.

<GuitarBizarre> Congratulations #yackfest, I think we've managed to break english!
<IllFlower> That would be only the latest in a long string of linguistic casualties in this channel...
<IllFlower> Japanese's eviscerated corpse is still sitting on the windowsill, see?

<Ambiguity> Is this glaring penis related or Canada related? These choices are mutually exclusive.

<Tenri> How are you guys doing?
<IllFlower> I'm saying something in order to provide the illusion of activity, but nothing's really happening.
<IllFlower> Mostly I am busy killing my computer by making it do too many things at once.
<Tenri> Which things?
<IllFlower> Making it run Windows in a virtual machine alongside a bunch of other stuff that I don't feel like closing.
<IllFlower> The sound of my hard drive paging stuff back and forth from swap almost sounds like the scream of an innocent maiden about to be violated.

<Nitya> writing fortran while not owning a slide rule is a syntax error