<IllFlower> JBridge just knows these things. Don't ask why, because it's more information than you'll ever need. Or want, really.
<JBridge> IllFlower: "A fountain of useless and mostly disgusting information."
<JBridge> That's how my best friend describes my mind.
<IllFlower> It's better than how my mind is usually described, which I won't reproduce in full here because it generally entails graduate-level thesis papers in exacting detail on how badly I've gone unhinged over my few years of existence.

<feep> that should really have been on gfycat
<feep> http://gfycat.com/LongBeneficialCock
<feep> I DID NOT PICK THAT NAME

<Nitya> I had no idea dicks were this complicated.

<LORd> a steel horse the size of an oil rig that ejaculates missiles, or perhaps this metaphor got out of hand.

<Myrdradek> Let me tell you about running as fast as you can and staying still: The Myrdradek story
<Nitya> oh, good that you got a working treadmill
<Barcode> ^
<ponicalica> ^
<Section42L> ^

<TParadox> :explode
*** Jack quit (Quit: Jack's computer exploded!!)

<Juan> And let's face it, most people feel weird about masturbation in their media. Naked white girls destroying everything are a-ok, though!

<Barcode> «In a mission kept secret until after delivery, the pieces [(some stone artifacts)] were collected by the British Museum and brought back to Afghanistan by UK forces in July.» in marginally lighter news
<Saladofstones> I can imagine a call of duty mission based on
<Saladofstones> SOAP GO RETRIEVE THAT PRICESS ARTIFACT
<Alkthash> RAMIREZ! EXPLAIN THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE ROCKS!
<Barcode> hold x to explain
<Saladofstones> Oh god
<Saladofstones> a quickk time event to explain the significance
<Saladofstones> if you fail the artifact just explodes, killing everyone
<Barcode> What if the screen just went blurry, with "Factual inaccuracy will not be tolerated!"?

<Barcode> My problem with autonomous cars starts and ends at "why not jsut take the fucking bus, it's more efficient and hsould go to just about as many places"
<Solstace> And thus the autonomous bus was invented.
<Barcode> bus-casuals.
<Barcode> (no, really. that'd be fine by me)
<Solstace> pffft
<zeroplusalpha> Actually, in central London at most times during the day it's more efficient to walk.
<Nitya> I have to walk several miles to get to the nearest stop :<
<Barcode> Yes, but rural area
<Solstace> Well, we live in the middle of nowhere.
<Nitya> :<
<Solstace> YOu even moreso than me.
<Barcode> ruralites will beh ereby doomed to horseback
<Barcode> autonomous horses
<Nitya> that would be funny if it wasn't true.
<Nitya> there is so much horse crap around here you don't even know
<Nitya> I think at least 20% of the average horse's body mass is excrement, it's the only explanation

<SpruceZeus> HOLY JUMPED-UP JUNIPER ON AN EXPRESSWAY
<SpruceZeus> YOU LEAF-EATING SON OF A SIDEWALK
<SpruceZeus> YOU MANGY IMPROPERLY CALIBRATED BEARER OF AN ECHIDNA
<SpruceZeus> MAY ALL YOUR TOENAILS TURN PURPLE AND YOUR NEIGHBORS SING CHER'S GREATEST HITS UNTIL YOU GO COMPLETELY INSANE