<IllFlower> I would write a Solstace/Tzetze haiku, but just writing out their names takes nine of the seventeen mora I have available
[...]
<IllFlower> ツェツェに そっと口づく ソルスタス but that lacks the essential //poetry// of a haiku.
<IllFlower> On the other hand, since nobody here can actually read that, I'll just write random Japanese gibberish and pretend it's Soltze haiku.
<oneironaut> @translate ツェツェに そっと口づく ソルスタス
<Omnipresence> oneironaut: Google translation from Japanese (auto-detected) to English: Tsetse brute mouth gently Sorusutasu

<Saladofstones> all I can think of is a belgian expression for when something is useless
<Saladofstones> "its as useless as the pecker on the pope"
<Juardboiled> "belgian"
<Juardboiled> oh
<Saladofstones> what
<Saladofstones> you gonna knock my people
<Juardboiled> yes wha chu gunna do bub
<Saladofstones> I'll love you so tenderly man
* Juardboiled rips off shirt to reveal another shit saying no sorry i'm taken
<Rig> Juan is just covered in layers of shit.
<Barcode> dude, is that a fucking biological ability
<Barcode> growing shirts
<Rig> My biological ability is not giving shits.
<Rig> I'm a mutant.
<Rig> Mister No Shits Given
<Juardboiled> that explains so much about rig

<Nitya> "You need a passport to buy bread." "Here you go." "This passport is not valid because you are naked in the passport photo. HA HAAAA HA HAHAHA" man i hate that dream

<Noimporta> you can always count on tropers to take a stupid situation, and make it sad
<Noimporta> the situation never stops being stupid, though

<IllFlower> Wait, okay, Tzetze has a Japanese name and Mapi doesn't, what kind of strange alternate universe have I fallen into

<Zudak> blamspam: I literally didn't know it was Easter until Sunshine Werewolf said something about chocolate rabbits
<blamspam> You GODLESS HEATHEN!
* blamspam sends you a delicious chocolate Jesus
<Rotty> Take, eat. This is his body.

<Nova> kiwis are the worst bird
<Nova> worship owls instead
<Alkthash> Do you really want to go down this road Nova? Dark thinks lie down this path
<Alkthash> Bluh. I don't want to hear another thing about owls. The next person who says anything about the devil birds will get cut. Immediately after that I will lick the wound to savor their fear and surprise. But not content that they have been kissed twice, first by my steel and then by my hate, I will whisper 8 words in their ear. And then they will take five steps and have their heart stop as a host of maggots begins to crawl out their eyes
<Alkthash> Eventually enveloping their body in a coccoon of festering pain and despair.
<Alkthash> And then I will drop the spaghetti to get senpai to notice me

<Tsukubus> honestly, I'd prefer a job with as little human contact as possible
<AnOtherT> like a politician

<Foombazzle> Oh yeah. I need to leave the flat and go downstairs to grab another bag to refill my bucket too.
* Foombazzle wonders if theres an online service for it
<Foombazzle> Like I should be able to get an internet-connected bucket that will initiate a delivery automatically
<Charlatan> Would you like your bucket delivered by UAV
<Foombazzle> I think it would need to be. We're talking 10kg of rice, so the average drone wouldn't cut the mustard.
<zeroplusalpha> 10kg???
<Foombazzle> yeah, I grab a sackful at a time, which is why Im always so surprised when I run out. My calculations are always based on the approximation of "ok. This should last till I reach retirement age"
<Charlatan> I'm now imagining a very unusual game of Call of Duty.
<Charlatan> "CARE PACKAGE IS INBOUND! *giant crate of rice flattens Foombazzle*"
<Foombazzle> from the T&C: Customer's in high-rise apartmenrts are reminded to leave their windows open for half an hour either side of the scheduled delivery time. Precision delivery is automated and will occur regardless of window status.
<Foombazzle> Do not stand near windows during this time.
<Foombazzle> Any spillage after package deployment is responsibility of customer.

<jseblan> ... and I am now aware of the "moe" in "homoerotic"