<Nitya> keep in mind I'm the kind of guy who has whole books on how fly eyes work
<saladofstones> you are the kind of guy I'd go to pubs with nitya
<Nitya> damn straight
<saladofstones> my dad has four rooms of our house filled with books
<Nitya> go to pubs and yell about cow shit
<saladofstones> and how eyes work
<saladofstones> fly eyes
<Nitya> how cow shit eyes work
<saladofstones> we'll get all the women and men
<saladofstones> we'd become gods
<Nitya> an unstoppable team
<saladofstones> imagine if we all died and this is the only reference the future has for our times
<saladofstones> imagine that

<Alkthash> Although it's times like this that I had like 20 dildos. So when the insurance adjustment spook comes in to check my apartment he just sees a cock Christmas tree, so bold it would make the most brazen drag queen blush. And he would be left wondering what sort of folks live there and go home and stare at the wall and think of dildos.

<Saladofstones> all I can think of is a belgian expression for when something is useless
<Saladofstones> "its as useless as the pecker on the pope"
<Juardboiled> "belgian"
<Juardboiled> oh
<Saladofstones> what
<Saladofstones> you gonna knock my people
<Juardboiled> yes wha chu gunna do bub
<Saladofstones> I'll love you so tenderly man
* Juardboiled rips off shirt to reveal another shit saying no sorry i'm taken
<Rig> Juan is just covered in layers of shit.
<Barcode> dude, is that a fucking biological ability
<Barcode> growing shirts
<Rig> My biological ability is not giving shits.
<Rig> I'm a mutant.
<Rig> Mister No Shits Given
<Juardboiled> that explains so much about rig

<Nitya> miijhal, when you browse danbooru for a while, you get a pretty high standard for "porn". naked chick covered in dongs just isn't enough any more

<saladofstones> In this case, your boner explodes into a rainbow and you can never ever have a boner again but want to feel one pretty fucking badly
<saladofstones> so you eventually cover yourself in boners and lament how it just isn't the same
<saladofstones> then you become doom-rider

<qazwsx> I'm multiplying average penis length by the male population, getting a figure for the total length of all human penises
<qazwsx> Then dividing by the circumference of the earth
<saladofstones> but
<saladofstones> are we factoring circumcision into this

<BarcoProxy> it hurts me to say this but it might be possible that after this is done I will have to say of evangelion "at least it wasn't ergo proxy"
<Nitya> you have the weirdest standards.
<BarcoProxy> my standards are "looks cool and makes sense" but nothing fits both of them!
* BarcoProxy buries his head in his hands.
* Nitya pats BarcoProxy on the shoulder before starting to speak an old french poem about sex in backwards hebrew
* BarcoProxy screams.

<Miijhal> http://i.imgur.com/OOVIE.jpg vegeta what are you doing
<Miijhal> that is not proper attire for a school teacher
<Juan|TheWire> also why would you be in super saiyan mode while going for seductive school teacher
<Juan|TheWire> shit don't make sense
<Miijhal> it's to grade papers faster than the eye can see
<Miijhal> he just chills out in the teacher's lounge warping all over the place while graded papers fall around him
<Miijhal> until he encounters that one kids essay
<Miijhal> he scribbles as fast as he can, summoning up a huge dust cloud
<Miijhal> but when it fades away the paper is totally unphased
<Miijhal> because it's not an essay at all but a scantron
<Juan|TheWire> You seem to have given this a frightful amount of thought.

<Alkthash> It's after midnight and I'm talking about a dead anime love interest haunting me to make boner jokes.
<Alkthash> What the fuck brain.
<saladofstones> you one upped me, I'm reading about the Japanese KKK and eating dry cereal at 10:43
<Miijhal> I spent most of a day reading about sloth sex

<Nova> kiwis are the worst bird
<Nova> worship owls instead
<Alkthash> Do you really want to go down this road Nova? Dark thinks lie down this path
<Alkthash> Bluh. I don't want to hear another thing about owls. The next person who says anything about the devil birds will get cut. Immediately after that I will lick the wound to savor their fear and surprise. But not content that they have been kissed twice, first by my steel and then by my hate, I will whisper 8 words in their ear. And then they will take five steps and have their heart stop as a host of maggots begins to crawl out their eyes
<Alkthash> Eventually enveloping their body in a coccoon of festering pain and despair.
<Alkthash> And then I will drop the spaghetti to get senpai to notice me