<IllFlower> If you can't drink yourself into diabetic obesity with self-service soft drinks, you're clearly not at a real fast food joint.

<IllFlower> I would write a Solstace/Tzetze haiku, but just writing out their names takes nine of the seventeen mora I have available
[...]
<IllFlower> ツェツェに そっと口づく ソルスタス but that lacks the essential //poetry// of a haiku.
<IllFlower> On the other hand, since nobody here can actually read that, I'll just write random Japanese gibberish and pretend it's Soltze haiku.
<oneironaut> @translate ツェツェに そっと口づく ソルスタス
<Omnipresence> oneironaut: Google translation from Japanese (auto-detected) to English: Tsetse brute mouth gently Sorusutasu

<Iverum> Sexually Transmitted Idea?
<IllFlower> "Wait, dear, can't you stay in bed just a little long--" "No, I need to write this down /now/, before I forget!"

<Solstace> Tzetze and I are so over.  That doesn't stop the shippers, though.
<Juan> sure you are, little buddy
<Arha> Solstace: I hope the breakup involved breaking his kneecaps
<Solstace> Arha: Have I ever mentioned that you're awesome, and so much better than IllFlower and Juan?
<Juan> geez, don't go for the rebound in front of us
<IllFlower> Seriously, that's a little disgusting. Surely you can be a little more considerate of Tzetze's feelings. Or just not-desperate in general.

<Haruspex> It may be a unit of measure, but it's also a literal flower.
<Haruspex> Figuratively speaking.

<Barcode> "Environmental Enforcement Officer" Hell yes.
<Barcode> "Spallini, when I get to the bottom of your oil trading black market, your ass is grass."
<IllFlower> "Literally. I will inject chlorophyll *into* your gluteus maximus."

<zeroplusalpha> Did I not say this before? Somewhere in there is a demented teenager that refuses to go quietly into the night.
<Lin_Chong> I think I might have one.
<Lin_Chong> In my colon.
<Lin_Chong> Damned thing just won't digest.
<zeroplusalpha> In my colon. <-- That's gross. >_<
<Lin_Chong> I know!
<Lin_Chong> He just won't stop singing songs about spleens!
<Lin_Chong> I think he's got a rhyming dictionary in there!
<IllFlower> Lin_Chong: "this right here is the spleen / I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be green / what have you been eating, my master? / you know it'll just make you die faster"

<IllFlower> I am going to font-weight your position into a root beer float on top of a background-repeat in the opacity shales, you stupid CSS declaration.

<IllFlower> Execution Grounds sounds like it'd be a good name for a coffee brand.
<IllFlower> "Execution Grounds coffee. Shoot your tiredness in the head."

<IllFlower> well, it's still better than the dream I had about rotting genitalia.